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Cathy Fyffe

Tday’s relationship, hot tip is to focus on what IS working in your relationship.

When things feel struggly, when our partner drives up the wall, or we just think, what am I going to do? One thing that can move, or shift your own feelings about it, is to reconnect to what you like, love, or is good about the relationship. If you are still in the relationship, there will be things that are working and are positive for you..

Whilst it’s hard when we are in that struggly place to think about what they are, please take a moment to ask, ‘What is it that that actually works here?” Is he a good provider? Does he show up? Does he engage well with the kids? Does he put the bins out every week? Does he take the dog for a walk? Does he pick up his dirty socks and undies? What are the things that work for you? What are the things that he does do that actually help or support the relationship?

Now it is easy to go, “There’s absolutely nothing.” But I bet you that there will be things that are positive in the relationship. The more you can focus on what’s positive and not only bring it to your own mind, but actually acknowledge to your partner the things that you like, enjoy or appreciate about his contribution.,whether it’s to the house to the kids or to you, the more you’re going to get the behavior that you want.

So, tip for today is to focus on what is working rather than what’s not working. See if you can come up with three things at a bare minimum. Three things that are actually working in your relationship to remind yourself of what’s good about it.  What do you love about this man? Why are you still there?

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